In Solitude What Happiness? Tips for Cyclists With Stay-at-Home Partnersby Tamia Nelson

… In solitude
What happiness? Who can enjoy alone,
Or all enjoying, what contentment find?

    Milton, Paradise Lost

 

That was Adam’s view, anyway—though we all know how his story ended. Still, there’s no doubt that it’s fun if your partner shares your enthusiasms. And cyclists certainly aren’t condemned to a solitary life. But what if your life companion doesn’t show much interest in two-wheeled travel? What then?

Well, you can simply acquiesce and accept things as they are. And sometimes that’s the best course. After all, can two cycle together, except they be agreed? Not likely. But if you detect even a nascent spark of interest, it may be worth trying to coax it into a flame. And here are a few suggestions to help you kindle that fire:

Make Sure the Bike Fits  Let’s be honest. Riding a bike is something of an unnatural act. Rider and machine must work together, and it takes time for new riders to get the knack. But if the bike doesn’t fit the rider, the result is a foreordained failure. So make sure your partner’s bike is the right size, and that it’s properly set up, too. Experienced cyclists—I’m assuming you’re one—will know what’s important, and they should have little difficulty helping their partners get a good fit. Take the time. Make the effort. Do it right.

Don’t try to impose your prejudices on your partner, however. If he (or she) doesn’t warm to a conventional diamond frame, don’t throw up your hands. Maybe a ‘bent would suit. Or a semi-‘bent. Or even a tricycle. The ride’s the thing. The number of wheels and the position of the pedals relative to the seat are secondary.

Clothes Don’t Make the Cyclist  A lot of self-styled bicycle advocates delight in ridiculing riders who favor Lycra, poly, and fleece. I’m not among them. In fact, I like Lycra. I find it both comfortable and efficient, even for shopping trips. But I’d never try to force my fashion quirks on anyone else. And neither should you. If your partner would rather ride in Bemruda shorts and a tee-shirt (or tweed plus-fours and a Norfolk jacket, for that matter), so be it. A bike ride isn’t a state dinner. Dress is optional.

Two caveats: If your partner prefers streetwear to Lycra and favors long pants, get him (or her—but I’ll stick to he/him from now on, for convenience’ sake) a cycle clip or trouser band to keep the flapping fabric out of the moving chain. And urge him to wear a properly fitted helmet. All cyclists fall sooner or later, and asphalt is harder than even the hardest head. ‘Nuff said? I hope so. After all, it’s easier to buy a new helmet after a crash than to get a new partner.

Easy Does It  Hard-chargers often forget what it was like when they were first starting out and every hill looked like Everest. But you remember, don’t you? So let your partner find his own pace in his own time. And until he does, plan on plenty of stops to take in the sights or sit under the trees. Make sure your partner drinks and eats something at regular intervals, too.

What Goes Up Must Come Down Carefully  Climbing may tire you out, but descending can terrify. Even many pros dread steep descents. Luckily, you and your partner aren’t racing. But novice riders still need to be taught the art of descending under control, and you’re the old hand at this game. Help your partner avoid your mistakes.

It Pays to Have a Goal  A lot of folks aren’t happy going nowhere. If that describes your partner, make sure you always have a reason to ride. It doesn’t matter what it is. Picking up something for supper, going down to the local swimming hole, or visiting a friend—they’re all fine. What matters is that you’re going somewhere. Together.

If Two’s Company…  Then three (or more) might not be a crowd. Does your partner think that more is merrier? Then join a local cycle club. Some are for racers or would-be racers only, but many have family rides and day-long tours, as well. And these could be just ticket.

 

What’s that? You say nothing works? But your partner still insists he’d like to join you on some of your rides, even as he protests that he’s “too busy” today? Then maybe the problem is something more fundamental. Perhaps it’s…

Fear  This is only natural. A few enlightened countries have networks of well-designed and well-maintained cycleways, roads just for bicycles that actually go somewhere—transportation routes rather than recreational destinations. But you won’t find anything like that in the States. We don’t have the money for such luxuries. Which means you and your partner will probably be sharing the road with speeding cars and trucks—many of them in the hands of distracted or incompetent drivers—for all or part of even your shortest rides together.

So your partner’s fears are well-founded. “Sharing the road” is dangerous, and fear is a reasonable response to danger. What can you do about this? In truth, not very much. Pick your times and places carefully, by all means. (Saturday night isn’t a good time to ride anywhere, and many urban strip-mall-girt expressways are killing zones at any hour.) Get your partner a rearview mirror, too. And spend some time riding on lightly traveled town roads before you tackle the busy state highways.

When all is said and done, though, the only cure for intelligent fear is to swallow it down and go forward. (What’s the alternative? Never to leave the La-Z-Boy? And what sort of life would that be?) Happily, confidence on busy roads grows with experience. Does this confidence make you safe? No. You’re still a minnow swimming among sharks. But confidence may make your partner just a little bit safer. That’s as good as it gets in the Republic of Happy Motoring, I’m afraid.

Ride Lots

Bottom line? Cycling isn’t for everyone. But if your partner says he wants to give it a try, encourage him in any way you can. A pleasure shared really is a pleasure doubled. Just ask Adam.

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